&haha to the readers I got with that click bait ūüėČ I am actually REwriting this post. This was due to be posted on Tuesday. I was having technical difficulties, and decided today would be the day…and I ended up losing the whole post. I was attempting to upload it on my new domain, that I have been working on for so long now..but alas it was a fail. But I drank a cup of coffee in hopes it would give me the energy to put away my mountain of laundry, but it didn’t. It did motivate me to get this rewritten and put on Netflix in the background! SO–where have I been? Where am I? Whats new?

There’s been lots of rumors going around that I moved back home, and one creepy app in particular had some nasty individuals speaking about me being “back home, and broken up with the Army guy.” Not sure where all that craziness got started, but I did not move home, and “Army guy” and I are still happily together. Well, in heart, not distance. But we’ll get there.

I DID GO HOME FOR A QUICK MINUTE THOUGH! It was rough timing with Jim, but I drove home for the weekend a couple weeks back with the pup for my family’s 6th Annual BBQ Reunion, and my best friend Mariah’s bridal shower! I had a blast, and also came back to Fort Drum an exhausted mess. I swear Im only now getting back to normal, and getting Cadence and I back into a good routine.

The morning of the BBQ started off a bit rough. I got into MA around 1am, after working all day, and then hopping in the car with my pup.


I headed to my brother’s house to help him out with some cooking and run errands–but the morning ended up being me stuck in tourist trap beach traffic, and then having to tend to my frantic Momma B who took Cadence to the carwash. My crazy rescue pup got a little nervous and went “cray cray” as Momma B would say, chewing on the dashboard of her brand new car, and biting at the water on the windshield. Traumatizing for Momma and Cade. But alas, after all the craziness, the show went on!

I didnt get a TON of photos (unlike me) but I was really just enjoying my time, and trying not to get to sad with all the “Where is Jimmy?” questions. Even some of the Wollinger fam, and even their super awesome neighbors, The Palen’s came by!

Cadence had a pretty overwhelming day and had to have a nice nap with baby Levi.


Later on my adorable big brother had his coworkers that were on duty come by for some food and brought all the children at the BBQ out to see the fire truck!


The night ended with lots of laughs with old friends, a couple rounds of beer pong, and this epic Momma who couldn’t let Levi who thought it was still party time, cramp her style!


The next morning was the morning of my best friend Mariah’s bridal shower!!! I am her maid of honor, and I have to say, that with the crazy distance, and mess that was planning this, us bridesmaids did a pretty banging job with the partayyy.


&Of course before Cadence and I headed home (with lots of technical difficulties..) I had to show this pup the ocean, and what she gets to look forward to every time we visit, and when we finally do get to bring her back to our home. She couldn’t stop sniffing the air. Neither could I. Miss that salt air..


But back to reality, and Cadence and I are home in Fort Drum! Had a crazy past few weeks in the office, and finally got the house picked up and things back in order this weekend. Aside from that mountain of laundry… But things are a little different in the Benson/Wollinger household….because Jimbob is DEPLOYED. Yep the D word has finally become reality and it sucks. We’re being told this shouldn’t be a long one. But I won’t say too much more in the name of OPSEC. But I can tell you, that I miss that dude like crazy. Things have been all over the place lately, but I am settling in and getting into a routine, and crazy office life/preparing to finish my bachelors has been keeping me busy. But getting into bed, and having his side be empty is not easy. This house being so quiet…is strange.

I wasn’t sure how I would do with him leaving this time. After all, the first week after he left for OSUT I was a MESS. That was our first time being separated. But I was at home, with my friends and family, in familiar territory.

But honestly…this time around I’ve been more “okay.” If that is the right way to say it. It’s scarier because I know my man is now in a dangerous place. But..I’m holding it together. Not crying in my room and thinking the world is ending, and all that teenage angsty stuff. Because life goes on. Living on post has given me the opportunity to be surrounded by all of these Army families. Might not be my family…but it’s inspiring to see all of these families, with small children keep on going, when their husbands and wives are deployed. Because if my Dad taught me anything, it’s that life does go on. Whether you chose to be present or not. &This time, I chose to be okay. Because my life will continue to move. I will continue to hustle and build my own career, and take care of my baby Cade. &Hold the fort down until my handsome man is back by my side farting and stinking the place out, and making strange noises, and whistling the Hunger Games whistle when he’s hungry.

So here’s to all the military families KILLIN it with keeping it together when life hands you orders.


Until next time.


“Im gonna put my body first, and love me so hard till it hurts….gonna love myself and I don’t need anybody else.”–Hailee Steinfeld (This song is my jam)



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What I’ve Been Up To/Rambles

Hi guys.


Things have been pretty mundane in the Benson/Wollinger household. But I haven’t blogged in a while, and I felt inspired to write. So, I apologize if this post becomes wordy, all over the place and maybe a semi recap/spill my guts session.

So, lets start with the recap…here’s what I’ve been up to:

Jim and I went back to my home town a couple of weekends ago for my Uncle Jim’s service. That service has a whole lot to do with things that have been running through my mind lately, but we’ll get there later. I didnt take too many photos while in my hometown, but we had a really good time spending the day with my brother and old friends out on the boat. Made some memories I certainly will never forget.


Before we headed back on Sunday, we took Jim’s Dad out to breakfast for Father’s Day, at our favorite spot, Red’s in Salem, MA. His little brother Andrew, sisters Karla and Amber and brother in law Rob were there too, so obviously we had to do a photo shoot.


THEN, my BFF Caroline who is the best person ever introduced us to the North Country’s version of a beach. Wasn’t half bad…still no comparison to the beaches back home….but the “lake beach” off Lake Ontario was pretty awesome. Any day is a good day when Caroline and the little dude are involved. ‚̧


Jim’s sisters, and brother and law made a surprise visit too just for a night last weekend! We had SO MUCH FUN. We had a family dinner together, with our friend Sean as well–Jim and I were freaking out we were so excited…we’ve never had that many people at our table. Jimbo may or may not have been our “DJ” for the night while we had drinks and played Cards Against Humanity…. and this is actually the only picture I got of the entire trip….caption it in the comments:


Sunday we went to Old Forge! For those of you who don’t know what/where that is–it’s a beautiful place in Upstate NY….basically what I imagined it would be like when I moved up here…but alas…you have to go about an hour and a half from post to see the true beauty of this place. We drove up jamming out to some classic rap songs until we lost service..and once we finally got there (Jimmy yells at me for not following the GPS….this kid took us like 20 min out of the way…don’t let him tell you any different..) we stopped for lunch at Walt’s Diner. We didn’t have too much planned, so we just walked around all the shops, and acted like the tourists we are. ¬†I definitely got a cute little ice-cream shaped treat for my pup in honor of National Ice Cream Day! I actually didn’t have any ice-cream though! ūüė¶


The banker side of me got REAL excited when seeing the Life is Good store had an old vault…though they did fill it with Crocs…haha


OH! That brings me to this! One last thing to catch you up on…..drum roll please….(for those of you that follow me on ANY social media, you already know)…BUT, let’s give an official blog fam welcome to CADENCE WOLLINGER!


Don’t mind my pants covered in fur..we had JUST picked her up, so the cats in the humane society were all OVER ME.¬†


We have been searching and searching for months for our forever pup, and we rescued this sweet girl from the Steven Swan Humane Society in Utica, NY. Her name was Candy (not quite sure if that was her name originally) and she was lovingly renamed Cadence. She has acclimated to the name very well…and as some of you know, back home we have a family dog named Lola..


She’s on the left, that sweetie on the right was her pup Cadence….so it was a tribute to her, as well as a tribute to our love for the US military. ‚̧ Cadence is a boxer mix, and she was a boney wreck when we got her. She had kennel cough and her nipples were basically dragging on the floor. We think she may have been used as a breeding machine, and dumped at the shelter…but she is in her happy forever home now..and boy does she feel it!


Ok…now that you’re caught up on some of the goings on around here…ramble time. I’ve had so much on my mind lately. So many things are coming up in my life that are pretty exciting/scary/just all the emotions. Some of those things include me going back to school at night to finish up my bachelors….that’s super exciting to me, but scary, because it’s going to be a lot with working full time, but ya gotta do what you gotta do as an adult–I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again! ūüôā My best friend Mariah has her wedding coming up, and I’m her Maid of Honor–so we’ve got lots of planning, and bridal showering, and things to get done before I fly to Savannah in December. THAT being said, there has been a lot going on personally that have been weighing on my mind. I won’t go into too much detail, but I can tell you that its making my heart hurt. I’ve seen some people I love recently just do things and say things…that just aren’t ok. It’s hard growing up and thinking that the world is one way, and believing in people so much, only to have your eyes opened to realize that people you thought you knew…aren’t who you thought they were. True, genuine, kind, loyal people, family members, aren’t very common. &The ones that are, need to be cherished. When I love you, as a family member, as a friend, as a significant other–I love with everything. I was raised that way. I love you with all my might, defend you till the end, but let you know when you are wrong, and expect you to do the same for me.¬†Every big moment in your life, is a big moment in mine. Since my Grandpy and my Uncle’s passing…it’s been way too much. Because you see…Grandpy and Uncle Jim were two of those people that I loved so fiercely. &Seeing others agendas play out during a time of grieving is hard. But it’s a part of life, and another thing I’ve learned in this crazy journey as a 20 something. Life is short, spend time with those you love, celebrate the happiness, and smile through the darkness.

That’s all for now. &If you made it all this way…thank you for letting me ramble. I needed this writing session more than you could imagine. &I promise to get back to happy blogging. I’ve had enough moping around for a lifetime.


“You and your girlfriends need to stop calling each other ‘bi*ch,’ there is enough hate in this world, you young ladies don’t need to be talking like that.”-My Daddy



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How are you all!? I apologize¬†for the lack of post the last few weeks!¬†I just started a new job, and it’s pretty intense with training, so by the time I got home and cooked dinner, and ate…I was pretty much ready to hit the sheets. Also, Jim’s parents and my little brother-in-law Andrew came to visit Memorial Day¬†weekend!


Had a perfect bun till the humidity got to it…. ūüė¶


This post though I want to go over some of my recent favorite items/products/things. I definitely haven’t done a favorites post in quite some time. I thought about doing a monthly favorites type of thing, but I don’t switch it up too much with products and things like that. I’m a bit of a creature of habit. BUT–before I dive in, I just want to take a quick moment to appreciate my hubs. You all know how obsessed we are with one another, but I think he just deserves a shoutout. I’m forever in awe of him. &I know that is why God placed us in each others lives. I am in just awe of his selflessness, his ability to make me laugh every single day, and his constant need to protect. Myself, his family and his country. I know some of you might be reading this and silently (or not so silently) yaking. But I just wanted to take a moment to shout out my favorite hunka burnin love.


OKAY–lets get back to business, and talk about a few of my favorite things…



This stuff is AMAZING. I hyperlinked it, so if you want to buy it, it’s all yours! So…some of you may know what I’m talking about right now, and some of you may not. I have a “rash” that’s basically permanent on my upper arms, thats referred to as “chicken skin.” The scientific term for it is,¬†keratosis pilaris. Basically red, bumps. &They get a little splotchy sometimes. They don’t itch or burn or anything..they’re just kind of there. They say this is a common thing, and that it can be hereditary, and I know my Mom has it, though not as severe as myself. It just makes me super self conscious about wearing anything short sleeved. BUT–a good friend of mine suggested this lotion. It says to apply it twice daily, and IT SERIOUSLY WORKED. It’s not gone completely, but it has dulled so much of the redness and smoothed it out. I’ve tried SO MANY products to do the job, and this is the one that’s worked for me. I’m so mad at myself that I didn’t take before and afters…but if any of you try it, please share your before and afters with me, if you’re comfortable!

2) My Paula Dean pan.


When I moved into my first apartment, I totally snagged this pan from my Momma. She’s had it FOREVER and it’s seriously my best pan. It’s such a pretty blue, and aside from that–it just holds up and does the job. All of our other pots and pans are kind of just cheap crap we picked up at Walmart when we first moved out on our own. They do the job too, and we just make food for the two of us, but I seriously love having such a nice, good quality, heavy duty pan. I want to get more from her line. I couldn’t find a link for just the pan, but here is one to the whole set!



Yes, I’m aware of how gross they are. But I wear them ALL THE TIME. Keds are just such classics and you can wear them so many different ways. I love them with simple outfits like jeans/shorts and a plain tee, but they even look cute to dress down an outfit and make it more casual. I like to wear them with skater skirts and breezy tops too, for a comfortable shoe choice when we go walking around on date nights.

4) The 30 minute power clean

Now this idea I got from Amber Fillerup ¬†If you haven’t checked out her blog before, you have to. She’s the queen of braids, such a sweet down to earth Momma/wifey, and not to mention, her blog is just so atheistically pleasing. &She’ll make you get the travel bug REAL quick. BUT–the 30 min power clean is just 30 quick minutes at night where before heading to bed (or to binge watch Quantico) you clean up some area of your house. Whether it be just mopping the kitchen floors, wood polishing your furniture, or picking up the cyclone you made while getting ready for work after your first six alarms wouldn’t get you out of bed…it’s a great way to keep things in order during the week when you just don’t have that motivation to “clean as you go.” &If you have a roommate or spouse or what have you to power clean with–it’s a fun way to be competitive with who can get more done in the 30 minutes! So set your timers, and GO MOMMA B CRAY CRAY on those dishes!

5) My dinner chart, which I referenced before in a post.


I’ve really been trying to get us to eat in more. Better for the wallet, and we tend to cook healthy..and when eating out we view it as a treat, even if we’re eating dinner our six nights/week… So this chart just helps me keep track of what I need to get at the grocery store, and helps us plan some yummy meals that we WANT to stay home and cook! Found it at the Dollar Spot at Target!



You know sometimes when you randomly hear a song in a tv show or movie, and you HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IT IS? Well I heard the song Pumpin Blood by NONONO when watching the adorable romance movie (duh) Endless Love. &I. Am. Obsessed. I listen to it when doing my 30 minute power cleans ūüėČ &It’s definitely one of my favorite songs to run to. It just pumps you up. For lack of better ANYTHING, “it’s lit.”


Headwraps 1Headwraps 2

photos courtesy of Google

I love these…but I’ve yet to actually venture out and purchase them, because head wraps and head bands NEVER stay on my head unless I pierce my skull with a billion bobby pins. But I need these in my life.

8) So…I will never get too old to fan girl. I just think that people who aren’t excitable, just must have the most boring lives. Like–at what age do we decide that jumping up and down and clapping, and scream laughing about things wasn’t acceptable? I mean, just look at this lady with her Chewbacca mask. HAS ANYTHING ever made you that happy!? But anyways, fan girling. Yes. Taylor Swift. It’s a thing. It’s my thing. She is my life, my idol, and my musical Godess since I was 13 years old. However, I haven’t escalated to the point where I made an Instagram fan page…and that’s because I worry that people might judge me at 22 for doing so…but that doesn’t mean I don’t follow copious amounts of them. My absolute fav is seeherwiththelightsout ¬†If you’re a crazy Tay fan girl like me, CHECK HER OUT.

9) ASIDE from the Chewy loving lady, some of my other favorite viral videos I’m loving include this one of this adorable little girl wanting a boyfriend, and her Daddy insisting that she is “gonna work for God.” (Their accents just MAKE this vid) This one on how to store veggies. SO many necessary tips.¬†I even started storing my asparagus properly! &This English bulldog vid. YAS.

10) My new drug store mascara obsession, is this one by Maybelline. I’m normally a Two Faced, Better Than Sex mascara kinda girl, but this one is awesome too. &A lot more affordable. It’s brush is flexible, which works for me, bc my lashes tend to grow downward, &it really helps to brush them out. &The black is REALLY carbon black. My lashes are also¬†super light blonde, so I look like I have none with out any mascara. I went with my Wollinger fam to Alexandria Bay up here in NY over the long weekend, and knew I’d sweat my make up off in the heat, so I just threw on this mascara and was good to go! My lashes were nice and thick and dark, and it woke my eyes right up!


11) &Last but not least….my copper mug. You all know of my sick obsession with mugs. Grabbed this baby at the Christmas Tree Shoppe. I’m OBSESSED with this. If I ever have a kitchen with an island, and one of those things up above to hang pots and pans with, I’m doing all copper. So beautiful, and minimalist.


ALSO, here is a sneak peak of some of the things I’ve gotten for my new cubicle! (&A random face wash I picked up…couldn’t find my usual Yes To Tomatoes exfoliating scrub.) You know I¬†have¬†the most fab cube in the office. I’ll soon have the full Nate Berkus collection of all the gold office supplies.


QOTD:¬†What would you like next weeks blog to be about? My weekly office eats? Or cubicle decor? If I get an equal amount of votes on both, I’ll do both! Let me know in the comments down below, or on any of my social medias!

“The secret to happiness, is letting every situation be what it is, instead of what you think it should be.”



~Rest in peace my sweet, and silly Uncle Jim…may our good Lord heal you of all you pain and suffering. I love you very much.~



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My 1989 World Tour Experience

Hellooo everyone! Welcome back! I was so excited when I saw the stats from my last post, that so many of you came back to read my ramblings, and I saw many new viewers came to visit from Instagram etc! SO, hopefully this post will be a good one for any of my fellow Swifties to read, and any other Taylor Swift fans who were unable to attend. I hope those of you who followed me on Snap Chat¬†prior to the day, enjoyed my ridiculous Snaps. I’ve been having so much fun with that app–and I do apologize for the lack of Snaps after Tay came to the stage–but I was just so immersed in the show, that it was hard to focus on anything more.

I attended the 1989 World Tour in Foxborough Ma on Friday, July 24, 2015. It was a magical event. Weeks before the day I planned out our costumes, and poster, and I will post a DIY on them as my next blog post. My apartment was an explosion of glitter, and bursting with all eras of Taylor sounds while I worked. After hours on end, of burning my fingers off with hot glue, and ripping my thumb apart putting holes in my poster for the LED lights, the day finally arrived.


I spent the morning FREAKING THE HECK OUT..getting myself ready, and singing into my curling rod, and the drive there was full of traffic, and listening to every era of Tay.

Jimmy and I arrived to Gillette nice and early, and parked a good distance away to save on parking. As soon as we got there, I forced Jim into his barista costume, and we taped the battery packs onto the back of the poster. It was in the high 80s and my giant felt covered laundry basket caused me to sweat profusely, but it was so worth it. So, the concept behind our “Starbucks Lovers” costumes, was from the song Blank Space. The line “got a long list of ex lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane.” is often confused with, “all the lonely Starbucks lovers,” or “gotta love them Starbucks lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane.” So, Jimmy was a barista, and I was a Frappuccino. Even my nails had a 13 and a mini Frappuccino painted on to them, thanks to Aly at Colorful Nails in Salem, MA.

Walking around Gillette, there were so many others in AMAZING costumes. Some cheerleaders from the Shake it Off video, and some awesome ones, I saw, there two ladies dressed up as Tay’s cats, Dr. Meredith Grey and Detective Olivia Benson, and some other cuties, who got into Loft 89 dressed up as the “Swan Squad.” CONGRATS BTW LADIES!…if you ever read this….haha We were stopped countless times to take photos with people, and we were featured on some random fans Snap Stories, and Country 102.5 took our photo!


It began to rain, and I was a little nervous where my costume was covered in felt, and I didn’t cover our paper¬†“Starbucks Lovers” logos in anything. BUT- I was extremely excited to experience a RAIN SHOW. The rain did end up stopping¬†well before the concert began.

Now for the bad news and advice for anyone who has purchased floor seats for the 1989 World Tour (now this may only be Gillette Stadiums policies, but apparently a guard had told some other girls that¬†it¬†came directly from Taylor’s management team) As we were about to enter the¬†stadium, we were¬†told our poster could not be any larger than a small piece of paper as we were sitting on the floor (which makes sense) but was frustrating after all the hard work I put in. You’d think with all the Swiftie accounts I follow on Instagram, I would’ve heard about this, but¬†at the Red Tour, there were no such rules. After we had walked back to our far away lot,¬†and went to get into the stadium for the second time, I was¬†told by a female guard, that my costume was¬†not allowed. If you’re wondering¬†if I cried, the answer is yes. It was also extremely frustrating, that when we¬†were told no to the poster, nobody had said a thing about the costume. Although, it again, does make perfect sense, because of the size around.¬†Thankfully,¬†right¬†across from Gillette, a very kind gentlemen who was selling t shirts allowed me to place my costume in his car, so we would not have to walk all the way back to our¬†vehicle again, and held it for¬†us¬†until we came out of the stadium. &I stole Jimmy’s costume…I don’t think he minded..


We saw a few¬†posters on the floor and costumes that somehow got past security, and I’m assuming it’s because they entered from the balcony entrances.

Also!!! I had a lot of fun chatting with fellow Swifties that were going that night, and even met the adorable Miss Kat. AKA sinkshipsallthedamntime

Once Shawn Mendes came on the stage, I was fully recovered from my defeat, and ready to have an amazing night. His own music was beautifully played, and being at the Red Tour, and Club Red with my best friend Mariah, hearing his tribute to Ed Sheeran was like reliving the moment, and although I sadly wasn’t with Mariah, I was lucky to have this goofball by my side. Vance Joy was incredible and by far, Jimmy was his number one fan in the crowd. Although, he’s no die hard Swiftie, he does like Taylor. But I’m glad he really enjoyed the opening acts. &Then lets talk about HAIM. O M G. Those are some BAD A** ladies! Like WOW! I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed to have seen them live, and been exposed to their sound. I¬†am now a fan for life. They are amazing! &Its also uncanny how much my mother looks like she belongs with them. I wish I could’ve found a photo from when she was a teenager. She even wore her hair the same, and looked like Este’s twin.


I have to admit, for the second time seeing her, the moment Taylor emerged on the stage, singing “Welcome to New York” (the only girl who could ever sing about New York in Boston, and its acceptable) I CRIED. It’s hard to explain to a non Swiftie. When you’ve idolized someone from such a young age, and appreciated their art for so long, its hard not to lose it when you’re only yards away from that person. The show, although I feel a little less theatrical than Red, was insane. Totally, exactly what I pictured for 1989. We were given magical wrist bands as we entered, (“A gift from Taylor”)¬†that lit up the entire stadium in sync with the music, and it was beautiful and magical and wonderus. (I know, not a word.) Those dancers and back up singers…words can not describe the talent. The costumes were absolutely unforgettable. &The speech everyone wanted to hear was delivered as Tay hovered above us like an angel sent from the Heavens, again, moved me to tears. She spoke of female empowerment, and how commendable she saw it that each and every one of us, fight a battle others don’t see–yet we still chose to live our lives. As soon as she mentioned losing someone, I lost it. When meeting Taylor at Club Red, we discussed my Dad, who passed in 2011,¬†and how her music brought the two of us together. He tried to explain to me for so long, about the importance of music, and lyrics, and respecting the art. &When I fell for Taylor and her writing, and sound–my Father deemed her a legend for my generation. I used to sit in my computer room all growing up memorizing her songs, and inviting my parents up to watch me perform them…anyways side tracking…


Every song and performance was beautiful, and enchanting, and absolutely unforgettable. Dancing and jumping around to special guest, Walk The Moon, “Shut Up and Dance”, which is my 2015 Summer Anthem, was insane. &After Shake it Off was preformed on the runway, and everyone took their bows,¬†I had goose bumps, and could not believe that the event I had waited since last¬†Fall for, was over.

It took us two ours to get out of the parking lot, and two days (one of them spent sleeping till 5pm..(Grandma and Grandpa over here) to recover…but it was so worth it.

Taylor, you are an insanely talented artist, incredibly intelligent business woman, and beautiful human being. I can not wait to see what comes next for you, and I feel so blessed to have followed your journey.

So, that’s it! It’s all over for me! Next tour I will most definitely purchase tickets for both nights, and a room, and I will plan my poster and costumes accordingly. I hope everyone attending the next stops have the time of their lives. &Look for¬†a DIY poster and costume post coming up soon! I love you I love you I love you!

“Maybe you lost someone you never expected you would lose. Maybe you lost yourself. That’s even worse. When you have bad days that just wont let up, I just hope that you will look in the mirror and remind yourself of what you are and what you are not. You are not your mistakes. You are not damaged goods¬†from money lost or¬†from your failed explorations. You are not the opinion of someone who¬†doesn’t know you. You are a product of the lessons that you’ve learned. You are wiser because you went through something terrible. And you are the person who survived a bunch of rainstorms and kept walking. I now believe that pain makes you stronger. And now I believe that walking through a lot of rainstorms gets you….CLEAN.”- Taylor Swift

Let’s be friends…I’m dying to see how this one ends;)

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The Planner With No Plan

CalanderHELLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Blog world! It has been FAR too long since I posted last. I just feel like, there has been a whirl wind of things going on in my life. I’m going to do a quick little update, and I just really want to apologize to my small little group of readers that I’ve been off the grid with blogging. I just felt like….I wasn’t sure my sense of purpose…and I feel like…I can’t write, not knowing who I am. I’m still not entirely sure who I am, or what I want..but that’s what this post is all about! I feel like I’ve gotten a little more comfortable with “the new unsure me.” &I want to tell you about it!

UPDATE TIMEEEE…Last I wrote, I had just moved into my first ever apartment with my boyfriend James, and our roommate. &Now, I’m actually looking to move AGAIN! James and I decided that we are at the point in our relationship where we’re ready to live, just the two of us. Lets see…lets see…..Summer is in full swing. I’ve been taking a lot of opportunity to do some volunteer work for my community, and I have been working a lot, and saving lots of money, as we will be moving soon, and I’m also looking into getting a new car! *HORRAY!* Yaris is getting old. She still runs well, but it’s best to trade her in while she’s still worth something. So far this Summer, I haven’t been able to do a lot of fun activities, as most of my days off, we’ve had plans, obligations, or it rained. But I did get to the beach recently and it was a lot of fun! I plan on doing a lot more fun¬†Summer-y stuff soon. This weekend was my friends and family annual reunion cookout, and the next weekend, IS THE 1989 WORLD TOUR and I’m SO excited. I’m definitely going to post some DIY stuff for my poster, and costumes I’m making, (yes costumes) So…yeah! Look out for a few Taylor related posts coming up!

So….lets get into the topic at hand..being a planner with out a plan. At the age of 21, I know not only myself, but a lot of my peers are going through a bit of an identity crisis. This is the time in our lives, where we’re supposed to set ourselves up, for the rest of our lives. &Although my mother would beg to differ, I still feel like I’m a kid, and I don’t know what the heck I want! This past June marked three years since I graduated high school, and since that time I changed my major three times, going on four. I’ve had six different jobs, and a TON of ups and downs in my personal life.

Ever since I can remember though…I’ve been a planner. When my Mother would drop me off for the day at my Grandparent’s, I would sit down, and ask what we would be doing, so I could write a schedule. Since school age, I’ve obsessed over pretty day planners, and binders,¬†and all¬†organizational tools. I’ve always been the planner of activities with friends and family–I even hosted my very first holiday this Easter! &All growing up, I had “a plan.”

Or so I thought.

I lived in a world of rainbows, and unicorns, and thought things just go to plan. I would go through high school, and nothing bad would ever happen. I would go right from there to a four year school, and know EXACTLY what I wanted. From there, I would have and incredibly well paying job, work on my Masters, get engaged, finish my Masters, get a promotion, have a beautiful wedding, buy a big home, and have three wonderful kids. Happily ever after.

WHAT? I mean, its a beautiful thing, to be so young, and not so jaded. I still try to look at life in a positive light…just in a little more realistic of a view.

But, I like my not so planned life. I like that I’m at the age where I can change my mind 100 times if I want to, and anything is possible. I’ve been getting a lot of flack from the “adults” in my life about having a plan. But I’m okay. &That’s all that matters.

I do however have some plans. I’m sure they could change, or go off course, or take longer, (or shorter) of an amount of time than expected. I do still want all of those things I wanted as a child. I’m changing my major, for the (hopefully) last and final time back to Elementary Education. Teaching, and working with children is a passion of mine. & I don’t think I could live my life fully, if I didn’t pursue that dream. I have plans to¬†travel, to Europe, and all over the world, with my partner in crime, Jimmy. It will probably take longer than expected to save the money, but I will¬†do it. I have an itch to¬†be fully immersed in the Wanderlust life, and I will scratch it. I have plans to stay¬†at my job, and fully enjoy it. I have plans to devote a lot of¬†my¬†time to volunteering to causes I believe in. &I have plans to build, and keep strong, healthy relationships with my family and friends.

I have lots of plans. &They might not fit into the mold society creates. But I know I am responsible, and I try to leave a good mark on the world I live in.

I’m not asking for much, I just want my ordinary life, to¬†feel extraordinary to me.

Thank you for coming back to listen to my ramblings. I promise I wont run away again;)

PS, If you read my past blog, Girl Power, and 21 Things, you saw the list I want to conquer before 22. So¬†far, I have come to the realization, that being in the professional world, #3 can’t happen. But I will buy some clip in extensions to fulfill that one. As I said in Dear 2014, I cut my hair! But now, I’m actually just anxiously waiting for my long locks to come back.#14 is happening on the 24th of this month, #17 has been happening a lot lately! I saw my sister at Relay for Life, I’m actually heading up to my Swicker cousins for a bonfire soon, and I’m hopefully visiting with my niece next month! Oh, and I’m killin #19 ūüėČ What are or were your goals at 21?

Lets be friends!

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“Your 20s are your selfish years. Old enough to make the right decisions and young enough to make the wrong ones. Be selfish with your time–travel, explore, fall in and out of love. Be ridiculously silly, stupid and wild.”


I Moved/March 9th/International Women’s Day

imageHELLLLOOOOOOOO EVERYONE!!! It has been far too long since I’ve taken the time to sit down and write. I’ve had A LOT LOT LOTTTT going on recently, and I want to catch everybody up!!! SO! Two weeks ago, I was at my computer, and thinking about how Jim and I were planning on moving come May. I sat down and just started a¬†search on Zillow to think about location and pricing. I came across a BEAUTIFUL apartment that Jimmy had actually recently renovated with his work, and sent him a text asking if the landlord, (who had previously offered him a good deal on the 3rd floor, but I chickened out.) would still offer him a good deal! So, alas he did!! It’s been a shock moving out of my childhood home, and bedroom,¬†that I’ve inhabited since I was born. But¬†I did it!!¬†We searched for a roommate and ended up with a friend of a friend of mine. She’s a sweet girl, and we are SO excited. We’re finally getting settled in, and into a good routine. So, once I feel we’re done decorating, and making the place home, I’ll be posting photos. Until then, follow our shenanigans on my Instagram¬†with the hashtag #JAVPartyof3!

Today marks a significant day. It’s been four years since my dad passed. FOUR YEARS. It’s too insane to even think about. The four years I was in high school felt like an absolute eternity. For those of you who don’t know me personally, my dad was my BEST FRIEND. I never went through the “embarrassed of my parents” phase. March is all around a really tough month in the Benson family, where March 6th marks six years since my Uncle Tommy, my dad’s best friend and brother passed. Today, we had a ceremony at the VA in my hometown honoring my father and uncle and all of their achievements in the US Army during the Vietnam war. It was the smallest turnout to date, but nonetheless, made me so proud of my two guardian angels.¬†&It of¬†course didn’t fail to make me cry when Military Taps was played. I love you Daddy and Uncle Tommy. May you rest in peace.

Moving on to happier topics, INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY. This holiday was introduced to me many years ago by all different people I had met from many different cultures. The fact that the U.S is FINALLY catching on to this insanely important day, makes me incredibly happy. This day is about celebrating women, but it also brings fourth many struggles women are still facing today, with wage inequality, education, and not to mention the fact that if you Google, “women should” the first three suggestions are, “women should be slaves” “women should be seen and not heard” and “women should not work.” It’s sick. I bet you also didn’t know that March is National Domestic Violence Awareness month. This goes for both men and women alike. Although 85% of domestic abuse victims are women. One in every three women have been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her life time. Frightening statistics.

On the brighter side of this wonderful day, I would like to celebrate the women in my life, whom are influential to me in many ways.

1. My mom-For teaching my the importance of a healthy relationship and a clean house;)

2. My best friends- Marissa, Mariah, Alexandra, and Nicole for teaching me loyalty, sisterhood, and for lifting me up on my worst of days.

3. My sister Sarah-In the short amount of time since we’ve met, I’ve learned so much. I learned to be strong in the face of darkness and to laugh more. I never leave her house with out cheeks hurting from smiling too much.

4.Mother figures- My Meme, ho has never failed to show unconditional love for her family. My Nana Janice-who makes me believe in true love and that God’s love is unconditional.¬†Michele- (Jim’s mom) who has treated me like a daughter, and shown me the ways of handling the Wollinger men. &Amber and Karla (Jim’s sisters) Amber taught me to be who you are wholeheartedly and to live for adventure &Karla, aside from getting me into one of my favorite TV shows ever (OITNB) has taught me to practice what I preach, and to be fearless with my words.¬†&Never to¬†let anyone push¬†me around and always speak up.

5. &Of course, celebrating my favorite feminist and pop singer, Taylor Swift; I want to thank her for using her fame to push the envelope with feminism, for teaching women and girls class and poise.

Well, it felt really good to write, and now that we’re getting wifi in our new apartment it won’t be so long till you hear from me again! I love you all for reading, and Happy St Patty’s! MWAH!!¬† //XO

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