IM BACK IN MA!?!?!?

HI GUYSSSSSS

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&haha to the readers I got with that click bait ūüėČ I am actually REwriting this post. This was due to be posted on Tuesday. I was having technical difficulties, and decided today would be the day…and I ended up losing the whole post. I was attempting to upload it on my new domain, that I have been working on for so long now..but alas it was a fail. But I drank a cup of coffee in hopes it would give me the energy to put away my mountain of laundry, but it didn’t. It did motivate me to get this rewritten and put on Netflix in the background! SO–where have I been? Where am I? Whats new?

There’s been lots of rumors going around that I moved back home, and one creepy app in particular had some nasty individuals speaking about me being “back home, and broken up with the Army guy.” Not sure where all that craziness got started, but I did not move home, and “Army guy” and I are still happily together. Well, in heart, not distance. But we’ll get there.

I DID GO HOME FOR A QUICK MINUTE THOUGH! It was rough timing with Jim, but I drove home for the weekend a couple weeks back with the pup for my family’s 6th Annual BBQ Reunion, and my best friend Mariah’s bridal shower! I had a blast, and also came back to Fort Drum an exhausted mess. I swear Im only now getting back to normal, and getting Cadence and I back into a good routine.

The morning of the BBQ started off a bit rough. I got into MA around 1am, after working all day, and then hopping in the car with my pup.

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I headed to my brother’s house to help him out with some cooking and run errands–but the morning ended up being me stuck in tourist trap beach traffic, and then having to tend to my frantic Momma B who took Cadence to the carwash. My crazy rescue pup got a little nervous and went “cray cray” as Momma B would say, chewing on the dashboard of her brand new car, and biting at the water on the windshield. Traumatizing for Momma and Cade. But alas, after all the craziness, the show went on!

I didnt get a TON of photos (unlike me) but I was really just enjoying my time, and trying not to get to sad with all the “Where is Jimmy?” questions. Even some of the Wollinger fam, and even their super awesome neighbors, The Palen’s came by!

Cadence had a pretty overwhelming day and had to have a nice nap with baby Levi.

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Later on my adorable big brother had his coworkers that were on duty come by for some food and brought all the children at the BBQ out to see the fire truck!

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The night ended with lots of laughs with old friends, a couple rounds of beer pong, and this epic Momma who couldn’t let Levi who thought it was still party time, cramp her style!

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The next morning was the morning of my best friend Mariah’s bridal shower!!! I am her maid of honor, and I have to say, that with the crazy distance, and mess that was planning this, us bridesmaids did a pretty banging job with the partayyy.

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&Of course before Cadence and I headed home (with lots of technical difficulties..) I had to show this pup the ocean, and what she gets to look forward to every time we visit, and when we finally do get to bring her back to our home. She couldn’t stop sniffing the air. Neither could I. Miss that salt air..

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But back to reality, and Cadence and I are home in Fort Drum! Had a crazy past few weeks in the office, and finally got the house picked up and things back in order this weekend. Aside from that mountain of laundry… But things are a little different in the Benson/Wollinger household….because Jimbob is DEPLOYED. Yep the D word has finally become reality and it sucks. We’re being told this shouldn’t be a long one. But I won’t say too much more in the name of OPSEC. But I can tell you, that I miss that dude like crazy. Things have been all over the place lately, but I am settling in and getting into a routine, and crazy office life/preparing to finish my bachelors has been keeping me busy. But getting into bed, and having his side be empty is not easy. This house being so quiet…is strange.

I wasn’t sure how I would do with him leaving this time. After all, the first week after he left for OSUT I was a MESS. That was our first time being separated. But I was at home, with my friends and family, in familiar territory.

But honestly…this time around I’ve been more “okay.” If that is the right way to say it. It’s scarier because I know my man is now in a dangerous place. But..I’m holding it together. Not crying in my room and thinking the world is ending, and all that teenage angsty stuff. Because life goes on. Living on post has given me the opportunity to be surrounded by all of these Army families. Might not be my family…but it’s inspiring to see all of these families, with small children keep on going, when their husbands and wives are deployed. Because if my Dad taught me anything, it’s that life does go on. Whether you chose to be present or not. &This time, I chose to be okay. Because my life will continue to move. I will continue to hustle and build my own career, and take care of my baby Cade. &Hold the fort down until my handsome man is back by my side farting and stinking the place out, and making strange noises, and whistling the Hunger Games whistle when he’s hungry.

So here’s to all the military families KILLIN it with keeping it together when life hands you orders.

 

Until next time.

 

“Im gonna put my body first, and love me so hard till it hurts….gonna love myself and I don’t need anybody else.”–Hailee Steinfeld (This song is my jam)

//xo

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What I’ve Been Up To/Rambles

Hi guys.

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Things have been pretty mundane in the Benson/Wollinger household. But I haven’t blogged in a while, and I felt inspired to write. So, I apologize if this post becomes wordy, all over the place and maybe a semi recap/spill my guts session.

So, lets start with the recap…here’s what I’ve been up to:

Jim and I went back to my home town a couple of weekends ago for my Uncle Jim’s service. That service has a whole lot to do with things that have been running through my mind lately, but we’ll get there later. I didnt take too many photos while in my hometown, but we had a really good time spending the day with my brother and old friends out on the boat. Made some memories I certainly will never forget.

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Before we headed back on Sunday, we took Jim’s Dad out to breakfast for Father’s Day, at our favorite spot, Red’s in Salem, MA. His little brother Andrew, sisters Karla and Amber and brother in law Rob were there too, so obviously we had to do a photo shoot.

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THEN, my BFF Caroline who is the best person ever introduced us to the North Country’s version of a beach. Wasn’t half bad…still no comparison to the beaches back home….but the “lake beach” off Lake Ontario was pretty awesome. Any day is a good day when Caroline and the little dude are involved. ‚̧

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Jim’s sisters, and brother and law made a surprise visit too just for a night last weekend! We had SO MUCH FUN. We had a family dinner together, with our friend Sean as well–Jim and I were freaking out we were so excited…we’ve never had that many people at our table. Jimbo may or may not have been our “DJ” for the night while we had drinks and played Cards Against Humanity…. and this is actually the only picture I got of the entire trip….caption it in the comments:

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Sunday we went to Old Forge! For those of you who don’t know what/where that is–it’s a beautiful place in Upstate NY….basically what I imagined it would be like when I moved up here…but alas…you have to go about an hour and a half from post to see the true beauty of this place. We drove up jamming out to some classic rap songs until we lost service..and once we finally got there (Jimmy yells at me for not following the GPS….this kid took us like 20 min out of the way…don’t let him tell you any different..) we stopped for lunch at Walt’s Diner. We didn’t have too much planned, so we just walked around all the shops, and acted like the tourists we are. ¬†I definitely got a cute little ice-cream shaped treat for my pup in honor of National Ice Cream Day! I actually didn’t have any ice-cream though! ūüė¶

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The banker side of me got REAL excited when seeing the Life is Good store had an old vault…though they did fill it with Crocs…haha

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OH! That brings me to this! One last thing to catch you up on…..drum roll please….(for those of you that follow me on ANY social media, you already know)…BUT, let’s give an official blog fam welcome to CADENCE WOLLINGER!

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Don’t mind my pants covered in fur..we had JUST picked her up, so the cats in the humane society were all OVER ME.¬†

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We have been searching and searching for months for our forever pup, and we rescued this sweet girl from the Steven Swan Humane Society in Utica, NY. Her name was Candy (not quite sure if that was her name originally) and she was lovingly renamed Cadence. She has acclimated to the name very well…and as some of you know, back home we have a family dog named Lola..

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She’s on the left, that sweetie on the right was her pup Cadence….so it was a tribute to her, as well as a tribute to our love for the US military. ‚̧ Cadence is a boxer mix, and she was a boney wreck when we got her. She had kennel cough and her nipples were basically dragging on the floor. We think she may have been used as a breeding machine, and dumped at the shelter…but she is in her happy forever home now..and boy does she feel it!

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Ok…now that you’re caught up on some of the goings on around here…ramble time. I’ve had so much on my mind lately. So many things are coming up in my life that are pretty exciting/scary/just all the emotions. Some of those things include me going back to school at night to finish up my bachelors….that’s super exciting to me, but scary, because it’s going to be a lot with working full time, but ya gotta do what you gotta do as an adult–I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again! ūüôā My best friend Mariah has her wedding coming up, and I’m her Maid of Honor–so we’ve got lots of planning, and bridal showering, and things to get done before I fly to Savannah in December. THAT being said, there has been a lot going on personally that have been weighing on my mind. I won’t go into too much detail, but I can tell you that its making my heart hurt. I’ve seen some people I love recently just do things and say things…that just aren’t ok. It’s hard growing up and thinking that the world is one way, and believing in people so much, only to have your eyes opened to realize that people you thought you knew…aren’t who you thought they were. True, genuine, kind, loyal people, family members, aren’t very common. &The ones that are, need to be cherished. When I love you, as a family member, as a friend, as a significant other–I love with everything. I was raised that way. I love you with all my might, defend you till the end, but let you know when you are wrong, and expect you to do the same for me.¬†Every big moment in your life, is a big moment in mine. Since my Grandpy and my Uncle’s passing…it’s been way too much. Because you see…Grandpy and Uncle Jim were two of those people that I loved so fiercely. &Seeing others agendas play out during a time of grieving is hard. But it’s a part of life, and another thing I’ve learned in this crazy journey as a 20 something. Life is short, spend time with those you love, celebrate the happiness, and smile through the darkness.

That’s all for now. &If you made it all this way…thank you for letting me ramble. I needed this writing session more than you could imagine. &I promise to get back to happy blogging. I’ve had enough moping around for a lifetime.

 

“You and your girlfriends need to stop calling each other ‘bi*ch,’ there is enough hate in this world, you young ladies don’t need to be talking like that.”-My Daddy

//xo

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Walnut and Apple Coffee Cake

Hello everyone!

Welcome to, or welcome back to my blog! I’m really excited to be sharing my first recipe post! As you know from my Fall Favorites post, I’ve been loving all things Fall. I’ve already whipped out the plaid,¬†my blanket scarfs and my tall boots. I’ve been¬†dawning my purple hues of lipstick….and…wait¬†for it…..I WENT IN FOR THE KILL AND DYED MY HAIR!!! If you’ve been following me on Insta, Twitter, or are friends with me on Facebook, you’ve seen the selfies. But here is another:

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If you’re ever in the North Shore area of MA, you’ve got to stop by Valarie’s Hair Studio on Pine Street in Danvers. She is incredible at what she does, affordable, and she never fails to remind me, that she’s in the beauty industry to make me look beautiful. ūüôā

Alright! Now that I’ve shown off yet another selfie of my dark locks…lets get into the real purpose of this article. After apple picking, at Russell Orchards, I really was in the mood to bake. I just wanted to fill Jim’s parents house with delicious smells, and have something super yummy to eat. After searching on Pinterest for something other than apple pie, or apple crisp, I came across an article from ellainspired.com¬†and off to work I went!

So, there’s three parts¬†to the ingredients list. There are ingredients for the physical cake, the topping, and the icing. Don’t confuse them (like I did!!!) and put the wrong amounts into the wrong bowls!

Ingrediants

INGREDIENTS FOR CAKE: *I used a greased bundt cake mold to bake it in.

1/4 cup of oil

1 egg

1/2 cup of milk

1 1/2 cups of flour

3/4 cups of sugar (you can replace this with Stevia or honey if you’d like)

2 teaspoons of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of salt

1 teaspoon of vanilla

*I used some super cheap Dollar Tree vanilla, and it tasted great!

3/4 cups of chopped apples

*I used Courtland that I had picked up at the orchard

INGREDIENTS FOR THE TOPPING

1/2 cup of brown sugar

2 tablespoons of flour

2 teaspoons of cinnamon

*I used an entire tablespoon…..I like cinnamon. ūüôā

2 tablespoons of melted butter

1/2 cup of walnuts

*I did a whole cup…oops

ICING DRIZZLE

(I had no idea this would really make icing, and I was geeking out!)

3/4 cups of powdered sugar

1 tablespoon of milk

*Add larger portions for more icing

Icing

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Mix together from the cake ingredients list, the flour, sugar*, baking powder and salt.

In a separate bowl mix the oil, egg, vanilla and milk.

Add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture.

Add the chopped apples, and pour into the greased bundt cake mold.

Jimmy chopping apples

Jimmy took over when it came time to chop. He said I was doing it wrong…oops.

In another small bowl mix together all ingredients for the topping. Then sprinkle it evenly over the cake mixture, and press some of it into the middle of the batter.

Bake it for 25 minutes, or until the toothpick comes out clean.

While it’s baking, mix together the icing ingredients, using as much or as little as you need.

Once the cake has cooled a little, pour the icing on, and enjoy!

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What should I bake next!? Tweet me ideas!

Be my friend!

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“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature has been saving up all year for it’s grand finale.”-Lauren DeStefano

//xo

Fall Favorites&NYFW Dreaming

 Hello everyone!!!!

Happy Fall! Although..it’s not officially Fall (Autumn) until the 23rd..I’m already in Fall mode. I’ve had my PSL addiction kick in, and I’m loving Starbucks’ new recipe. I’m going to use this blog post to talk about a few of my FAVORITE Fall things. So..lets get started

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TOP TEN

  1. Well, I’ll skip talking about my PSL fav, since I already went over that; with a little soy milk and no whipped.. A serious Fall must have or favorite for my wardrobe, would be SCARFS. SCARFS SCARFS SCARFS. I love them. ¬†Blanket scarfs are my new thing. I love how you can wear them a million different ways..and they really just dress up simple outfits like a pair of leggings and a t shirt. I just got this beauty Saturday, from Forever 21.
  2. Of course, in typical¬†basic girl fashion…I love to burn candles, all year round. But this time of year, two of my favs from Bath and Body works are Pumpkin, and Buttercream Icing. YASSSSSSSS.

Favorite Candle

3. Deep purple lipsticks are an absolute favorite of mine as well. Obviously red is my favorite color to rock. But I try to retire my shades of red for a month or two during the Fall, and be a little bold with the purples. My two favs are MAC’s Antique Velvet, and of course Maybelline’s burgundy blush.¬†I’m a broke college kid, so I’m all about the dupes, and drug store products that work like they’re high end. Maybelline’s new Color Sensational Line–Creamy Mattes seriously are competition to matte lipsticks from NARZ, MAC and Urban Decay. They last forever, and are so highly pigmented.

4. ARMY GREEN. There are so many beautiful colors out there for your Fall Wardrobe, but a favorite of mine, has been Army Green. I just picked up this really cute t shirt from Forever 21, and just want to buy absolutely everything in this color.

5. Living in New England, Fall is kind of our thing. There are so many things to do around this time of year. &A huge favorite for me, is going to Russell’s Orchard in Ipswich, MA. It’s been a tradition to go pick apples there, and a pumpkin ever year since I was a baby. You can make a whole day of it. We love to go visit the farm animals, especially their famous pig, Darryl! Take a hay ride out to the apples, and look for the best ones for baking. &Once we head back, I love stopping in the barn to grab some fresh apple cider donuts, hot apple cider, and the apple cider ice¬†pops are to die for on Indian Summer days. Before we leave, we usually pick a pumpkin from the patch, and take a traditional photo in front of the red tractor..then head home to bake a pie, and carve our pumpkins!

6. Which brings me to…baking! Baking in the Fall and Winter is one of my favorite things to do. I haven’t quite perfected my cooking skills, but I’m most definitely an awesome baker. I just love the way it makes your house smell so warm and cozy, and I find it so fun to experiment with new recipes I find on Pinterest. Keep an eye out for some of my baking ideas that will be posted soon!

7. I have fashion on the brain since its NYFW and my life is considerably dull since I am not there. So, next up, are leather and utility jackets. Obviously I’m a Forever 21 junkie, and my faux leather jacket I got a while back is an absolute staple this time of year. But, what I REALLY REALLY want, is something like this: (&DUH, its in Army green…)

Army Green Utility Jacket

8. Brunette hues. I feel like everyone¬†goes a shade darker in the Fall/Winter. Gone is the sun kissed¬†hair and skin;¬†I’ve always been a blonde…okay that’s a lie. haha I was actually born with black hair, but it grew out (literally, it looked like my parents dyed my infant hair) to¬†a golden blonde! Eventually it turned into a nice mousy dirty blonde color. But ever since was about 15-16, I’ve had my hair many shades of blonde. Thrice I have ventured into the darker world of being a brunette. The first time was a major fail, and I was a ginger..and the last two times, I loved it! I’m feeling some much needed change in my life, and what better to start with, than the hair! Of course I’m going to Queen B for color inspo. I’m looking to do something, Blair Waldorf inspired!;) Keep up with me on Insta for photos!

Hair

9. Again, I live in a kick a** area, and there is just SO many things one can do in the Fall. One of the best things ever, is the Topsfield Fair. ¬†Any of my friends, or readers from my area know how exciting it is! If you’re ever in the area¬†around this time of year, its a MUST. There are carnival rides, farm animals, concerts, (I met Boys¬†Like Girls there¬†when¬†I was¬†about 16! NEVER¬†FORGET)¬†monster truck shows, you can ride a camel, or even an elephant if you fancy..hold a baby chick, watch them hatch in the incubator, watch pigs race, buy some fresh produce. AND THE FAIR FOOD. FOOD FOOD FOOD. I mean, the choices are unlimited. There are¬†classic fair favorites, like fried dough. &They have fresh squeezed lemonade, turkey legs, fried Oreo’s (YEP) I’ll just stick to my tradition of grabbing a free corn dog at the end of the night with Dylie B ūüėČ

10. You guessed it! Another fashion fav in honor of NYFW! Fall means back to school. &Since I’m a bag lady, it most defiantly means lots of messenger bags and backpacks. My go to purse this time of year is a brown faux leather messenger bag. I got it at Icing maybe five years ago, so I couldn’t link you to it..but here is something similar. Icing has some seriously cute and affordable accessories. &I can surely attest to their bags lasting over time with lots of wear and tear. I’m not one to spend a ton on a designer purse. Although I drool over Michael Kors, I just can’t. So Icing is my place! I’m loving that the vintage backpacks with the leather belt straps an draw strings are back. Of course, my fav is this one from Amazon, in…you guessed it! Army green.

Follow me! I live a super exciting life. (FALSE)

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//xo

“Each moment of your life is a picture which you’ve never seen before, and you will never see again. So enjoy life. Make each moment beautiful.”

My 1989 World Tour Experience

Hellooo everyone! Welcome back! I was so excited when I saw the stats from my last post, that so many of you came back to read my ramblings, and I saw many new viewers came to visit from Instagram etc! SO, hopefully this post will be a good one for any of my fellow Swifties to read, and any other Taylor Swift fans who were unable to attend. I hope those of you who followed me on Snap Chat¬†prior to the day, enjoyed my ridiculous Snaps. I’ve been having so much fun with that app–and I do apologize for the lack of Snaps after Tay came to the stage–but I was just so immersed in the show, that it was hard to focus on anything more.

I attended the 1989 World Tour in Foxborough Ma on Friday, July 24, 2015. It was a magical event. Weeks before the day I planned out our costumes, and poster, and I will post a DIY on them as my next blog post. My apartment was an explosion of glitter, and bursting with all eras of Taylor sounds while I worked. After hours on end, of burning my fingers off with hot glue, and ripping my thumb apart putting holes in my poster for the LED lights, the day finally arrived.

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I spent the morning FREAKING THE HECK OUT..getting myself ready, and singing into my curling rod, and the drive there was full of traffic, and listening to every era of Tay.

Jimmy and I arrived to Gillette nice and early, and parked a good distance away to save on parking. As soon as we got there, I forced Jim into his barista costume, and we taped the battery packs onto the back of the poster. It was in the high 80s and my giant felt covered laundry basket caused me to sweat profusely, but it was so worth it. So, the concept behind our “Starbucks Lovers” costumes, was from the song Blank Space. The line “got a long list of ex lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane.” is often confused with, “all the lonely Starbucks lovers,” or “gotta love them Starbucks lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane.” So, Jimmy was a barista, and I was a Frappuccino. Even my nails had a 13 and a mini Frappuccino painted on to them, thanks to Aly at Colorful Nails in Salem, MA.

Walking around Gillette, there were so many others in AMAZING costumes. Some cheerleaders from the Shake it Off video, and some awesome ones, I saw, there two ladies dressed up as Tay’s cats, Dr. Meredith Grey and Detective Olivia Benson, and some other cuties, who got into Loft 89 dressed up as the “Swan Squad.” CONGRATS BTW LADIES!…if you ever read this….haha We were stopped countless times to take photos with people, and we were featured on some random fans Snap Stories, and Country 102.5 took our photo!

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It began to rain, and I was a little nervous where my costume was covered in felt, and I didn’t cover our paper¬†“Starbucks Lovers” logos in anything. BUT- I was extremely excited to experience a RAIN SHOW. The rain did end up stopping¬†well before the concert began.

Now for the bad news and advice for anyone who has purchased floor seats for the 1989 World Tour (now this may only be Gillette Stadiums policies, but apparently a guard had told some other girls that¬†it¬†came directly from Taylor’s management team) As we were about to enter the¬†stadium, we were¬†told our poster could not be any larger than a small piece of paper as we were sitting on the floor (which makes sense) but was frustrating after all the hard work I put in. You’d think with all the Swiftie accounts I follow on Instagram, I would’ve heard about this, but¬†at the Red Tour, there were no such rules. After we had walked back to our far away lot,¬†and went to get into the stadium for the second time, I was¬†told by a female guard, that my costume was¬†not allowed. If you’re wondering¬†if I cried, the answer is yes. It was also extremely frustrating, that when we¬†were told no to the poster, nobody had said a thing about the costume. Although, it again, does make perfect sense, because of the size around.¬†Thankfully,¬†right¬†across from Gillette, a very kind gentlemen who was selling t shirts allowed me to place my costume in his car, so we would not have to walk all the way back to our¬†vehicle again, and held it for¬†us¬†until we came out of the stadium. &I stole Jimmy’s costume…I don’t think he minded..

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We saw a few¬†posters on the floor and costumes that somehow got past security, and I’m assuming it’s because they entered from the balcony entrances.

Also!!! I had a lot of fun chatting with fellow Swifties that were going that night, and even met the adorable Miss Kat. AKA sinkshipsallthedamntime

Once Shawn Mendes came on the stage, I was fully recovered from my defeat, and ready to have an amazing night. His own music was beautifully played, and being at the Red Tour, and Club Red with my best friend Mariah, hearing his tribute to Ed Sheeran was like reliving the moment, and although I sadly wasn’t with Mariah, I was lucky to have this goofball by my side. Vance Joy was incredible and by far, Jimmy was his number one fan in the crowd. Although, he’s no die hard Swiftie, he does like Taylor. But I’m glad he really enjoyed the opening acts. &Then lets talk about HAIM. O M G. Those are some BAD A** ladies! Like WOW! I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed to have seen them live, and been exposed to their sound. I¬†am now a fan for life. They are amazing! &Its also uncanny how much my mother looks like she belongs with them. I wish I could’ve found a photo from when she was a teenager. She even wore her hair the same, and looked like Este’s twin.

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I have to admit, for the second time seeing her, the moment Taylor emerged on the stage, singing “Welcome to New York” (the only girl who could ever sing about New York in Boston, and its acceptable) I CRIED. It’s hard to explain to a non Swiftie. When you’ve idolized someone from such a young age, and appreciated their art for so long, its hard not to lose it when you’re only yards away from that person. The show, although I feel a little less theatrical than Red, was insane. Totally, exactly what I pictured for 1989. We were given magical wrist bands as we entered, (“A gift from Taylor”)¬†that lit up the entire stadium in sync with the music, and it was beautiful and magical and wonderus. (I know, not a word.) Those dancers and back up singers…words can not describe the talent. The costumes were absolutely unforgettable. &The speech everyone wanted to hear was delivered as Tay hovered above us like an angel sent from the Heavens, again, moved me to tears. She spoke of female empowerment, and how commendable she saw it that each and every one of us, fight a battle others don’t see–yet we still chose to live our lives. As soon as she mentioned losing someone, I lost it. When meeting Taylor at Club Red, we discussed my Dad, who passed in 2011,¬†and how her music brought the two of us together. He tried to explain to me for so long, about the importance of music, and lyrics, and respecting the art. &When I fell for Taylor and her writing, and sound–my Father deemed her a legend for my generation. I used to sit in my computer room all growing up memorizing her songs, and inviting my parents up to watch me perform them…anyways side tracking…

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Every song and performance was beautiful, and enchanting, and absolutely unforgettable. Dancing and jumping around to special guest, Walk The Moon, “Shut Up and Dance”, which is my 2015 Summer Anthem, was insane. &After Shake it Off was preformed on the runway, and everyone took their bows,¬†I had goose bumps, and could not believe that the event I had waited since last¬†Fall for, was over.

It took us two ours to get out of the parking lot, and two days (one of them spent sleeping till 5pm..(Grandma and Grandpa over here) to recover…but it was so worth it.

Taylor, you are an insanely talented artist, incredibly intelligent business woman, and beautiful human being. I can not wait to see what comes next for you, and I feel so blessed to have followed your journey.

So, that’s it! It’s all over for me! Next tour I will most definitely purchase tickets for both nights, and a room, and I will plan my poster and costumes accordingly. I hope everyone attending the next stops have the time of their lives. &Look for¬†a DIY poster and costume post coming up soon! I love you I love you I love you!

“Maybe you lost someone you never expected you would lose. Maybe you lost yourself. That’s even worse. When you have bad days that just wont let up, I just hope that you will look in the mirror and remind yourself of what you are and what you are not. You are not your mistakes. You are not damaged goods¬†from money lost or¬†from your failed explorations. You are not the opinion of someone who¬†doesn’t know you. You are a product of the lessons that you’ve learned. You are wiser because you went through something terrible. And you are the person who survived a bunch of rainstorms and kept walking. I now believe that pain makes you stronger. And now I believe that walking through a lot of rainstorms gets you….CLEAN.”- Taylor Swift

Let’s be friends…I’m dying to see how this one ends;)

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//xo

The Planner With No Plan

CalanderHELLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Blog world! It has been FAR too long since I posted last. I just feel like, there has been a whirl wind of things going on in my life. I’m going to do a quick little update, and I just really want to apologize to my small little group of readers that I’ve been off the grid with blogging. I just felt like….I wasn’t sure my sense of purpose…and I feel like…I can’t write, not knowing who I am. I’m still not entirely sure who I am, or what I want..but that’s what this post is all about! I feel like I’ve gotten a little more comfortable with “the new unsure me.” &I want to tell you about it!

UPDATE TIMEEEE…Last I wrote, I had just moved into my first ever apartment with my boyfriend James, and our roommate. &Now, I’m actually looking to move AGAIN! James and I decided that we are at the point in our relationship where we’re ready to live, just the two of us. Lets see…lets see…..Summer is in full swing. I’ve been taking a lot of opportunity to do some volunteer work for my community, and I have been working a lot, and saving lots of money, as we will be moving soon, and I’m also looking into getting a new car! *HORRAY!* Yaris is getting old. She still runs well, but it’s best to trade her in while she’s still worth something. So far this Summer, I haven’t been able to do a lot of fun activities, as most of my days off, we’ve had plans, obligations, or it rained. But I did get to the beach recently and it was a lot of fun! I plan on doing a lot more fun¬†Summer-y stuff soon. This weekend was my friends and family annual reunion cookout, and the next weekend, IS THE 1989 WORLD TOUR and I’m SO excited. I’m definitely going to post some DIY stuff for my poster, and costumes I’m making, (yes costumes) So…yeah! Look out for a few Taylor related posts coming up!

So….lets get into the topic at hand..being a planner with out a plan. At the age of 21, I know not only myself, but a lot of my peers are going through a bit of an identity crisis. This is the time in our lives, where we’re supposed to set ourselves up, for the rest of our lives. &Although my mother would beg to differ, I still feel like I’m a kid, and I don’t know what the heck I want! This past June marked three years since I graduated high school, and since that time I changed my major three times, going on four. I’ve had six different jobs, and a TON of ups and downs in my personal life.

Ever since I can remember though…I’ve been a planner. When my Mother would drop me off for the day at my Grandparent’s, I would sit down, and ask what we would be doing, so I could write a schedule. Since school age, I’ve obsessed over pretty day planners, and binders,¬†and all¬†organizational tools. I’ve always been the planner of activities with friends and family–I even hosted my very first holiday this Easter! &All growing up, I had “a plan.”

Or so I thought.

I lived in a world of rainbows, and unicorns, and thought things just go to plan. I would go through high school, and nothing bad would ever happen. I would go right from there to a four year school, and know EXACTLY what I wanted. From there, I would have and incredibly well paying job, work on my Masters, get engaged, finish my Masters, get a promotion, have a beautiful wedding, buy a big home, and have three wonderful kids. Happily ever after.

WHAT? I mean, its a beautiful thing, to be so young, and not so jaded. I still try to look at life in a positive light…just in a little more realistic of a view.

But, I like my not so planned life. I like that I’m at the age where I can change my mind 100 times if I want to, and anything is possible. I’ve been getting a lot of flack from the “adults” in my life about having a plan. But I’m okay. &That’s all that matters.

I do however have some plans. I’m sure they could change, or go off course, or take longer, (or shorter) of an amount of time than expected. I do still want all of those things I wanted as a child. I’m changing my major, for the (hopefully) last and final time back to Elementary Education. Teaching, and working with children is a passion of mine. & I don’t think I could live my life fully, if I didn’t pursue that dream. I have plans to¬†travel, to Europe, and all over the world, with my partner in crime, Jimmy. It will probably take longer than expected to save the money, but I will¬†do it. I have an itch to¬†be fully immersed in the Wanderlust life, and I will scratch it. I have plans to stay¬†at my job, and fully enjoy it. I have plans to devote a lot of¬†my¬†time to volunteering to causes I believe in. &I have plans to build, and keep strong, healthy relationships with my family and friends.

I have lots of plans. &They might not fit into the mold society creates. But I know I am responsible, and I try to leave a good mark on the world I live in.

I’m not asking for much, I just want my ordinary life, to¬†feel extraordinary to me.

Thank you for coming back to listen to my ramblings. I promise I wont run away again;)

PS, If you read my past blog, Girl Power, and 21 Things, you saw the list I want to conquer before 22. So¬†far, I have come to the realization, that being in the professional world, #3 can’t happen. But I will buy some clip in extensions to fulfill that one. As I said in Dear 2014, I cut my hair! But now, I’m actually just anxiously waiting for my long locks to come back.#14 is happening on the 24th of this month, #17 has been happening a lot lately! I saw my sister at Relay for Life, I’m actually heading up to my Swicker cousins for a bonfire soon, and I’m hopefully visiting with my niece next month! Oh, and I’m killin #19 ūüėČ What are or were your goals at 21?

Lets be friends!

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“Your 20s are your selfish years. Old enough to make the right decisions and young enough to make the wrong ones. Be selfish with your time–travel, explore, fall in and out of love. Be ridiculously silly, stupid and wild.”

//xo